never married, over forty, a little bitter

the bitter boob

I just received this comment today; I’m posting it because it is entirely representative of a certain male anger out there, and I figure if I give it a spotlight these men can then refrain writing in from their scary basement apartments (how I always picture them), shouting the same points over and over and over ad nauseum (although I doubt they will).  Never mind that he is responding to my post “instability,” which is referencing an article written by a man– those subtleties are lost on him because he just can’t wait to write in and reiterate his points about cat ladies, feminists, career women, the cock carosel (misspelled naturally), and “aging prunes”.

So one last time, here we go (all future comments along these lines will go directly to the trash):

“We live such long lives now, yet our social world has failed to keep up.”There have *always* been cat ladies. Thing is these represented the exception to the rule not the majority. The wages of feminism, of wasting your youth pursuing a career, riding the cock carosel, and in putting off having a family to claw up the corporate ladder for a job you don’t want all to appease the ‘you go grrl’ feminazis has produced a large crop of very bitter fruit. Now we are supposed to feel sorry for you?“I first felt this when male peers passed me over as “too old” to date when I was only in my thirties, and I feel it now, when it is so difficult to find anyone at all in my forties, and I consider the idea of spending decades alone.”Well cupcake maybe some wisdom tweenty years ago would have helped you – too bad you didn’t have any. You *used to have* the looks to attract a man but you squandered this and now you are an aging prune with no prospects. You spent all your best years screaming and scheming for promotions and only now figure it out that men do NOT care about your many advanced degrees and posh corporate position? Despite the rhetoric you can’t have it all – husband/family OR posh corporate office. You chose, now you regret. A man would get no sympathy for such a decision and since its all about equality I will certainly not offer any myself. And yes, as a 42 year old male with a good job I would pass on you for a much younger woman with no guilt, period. You have nothing to offer me or anyone like me and no, middleaged, Oprah fueled fabulousness is not special nor is your ability to produce power points.“I feel it when I’m tired of my job and imagine plowing ahead another twenty-five years or so with no breaks from the workplace. God forbid we quit a job before finding another one, especially in an ageist job market, despite how much we may need a break.”

Yes well you wanted a mans life and choose that for yourself and what you describe men have done for literally thousands of years. Work sucks, that is why they pay you for it. If work was entertaining and fun you would pay the employer for same just like you pay to go to Disney world or for other entertainment. The only difference here between you and the entire male sex is that we are expected to keep it up, while shutting up, even if we really want a ‘break’ and keep doing this until we are dead. You think you deserve actualy *sympathy* for such a position? How many men in your office will work themselves to death? Mans life – work until you die – no excuses. You girls wanted this claiming that we were somehow denying you something because we were afraid of you beating us in it or whatever. Well – now you have it. Enjoy.

“It’s time to think about these long, undefined periods of life and imagine what can be done with them other than more of the same (especially those of us who aren’t busy caring for families):”

No it is time for work especially for you princess not so much anymore. You chose a career, fine, shutup, showup, and work. You are not entitled to a ‘break’ while others work to support you and your stupid decisions. You are not entitled to sympathy, money, time off or anything else. You must work for your bread because that is the life you chose. We men do not have a choice in this – you did – and you chose our path. Now you live and die with it and I hope you enjoy a fine 3+ decades of cat ownership. Perhaps the next generation will do better – or rather they will if you and your kind would actually warn them rather than trying to pull them into hell with you.

Good day…


The insanity continues, and I’m so glad to not be caught in it:

Some comments (that make me realize I can’t afford kids):

I live in Manhattan with 2 kids and our HHI is about 400k. If you looked at our everyday life, we do not live like rich people. The kids are in public school. We don’t go on vacations. Our clothes are from Old Navy. We don’t own a car. BUT, we save a lot (for retirement and to send the kids to private college – if that’s what they want – which I assume will be around 80k/year by the time they’re 18.) And we choose to live in this ridiculously expensive city. No one is forcing us to live here and no one is forcing that UB mom. Even if she is trolling, I know plenty of people who think the way she does. And most of them send their kids to private school so thankfully I don’t have to deal with them regularly. My kids go to a fantastically diverse school (economically, racially, etc) and I expect they will grow up with an appropriate perspective about wealth.


Let’s do some math:
400K to start with – 30% taxes (low est) – 15% savings (high est) – 50K nanny – 80K school (for 2, highest possible) – 48k (mortgage and condo fees, low est.) = $52,000 year for family of 4 to eat, get transportation (NB: car not covered above), be clothed, have books and entertainment, see doctors, buy gifts and take vacations, etc. That’s $1000/week left of $7,700/week pre tax income. It is most certainly not nothing. It’s nothing close to poverty, but it doesn’t strike me (as a NYC-dweller) as very rich.

I recognize that many many many many people make less than $1000/week and survive just fine, living quite well, depending on their location. And no one should complain about $1000/week. But it’s all relative and while I think griping like this should be kept private, it’s not 100% absurd.