I was enthusiastically asked for a second date this weekend with someone who ended up canceling because he said that another potential relationship was starting to develop. I don’t have any reason to doubt him, as we hadn’t spoken since he’d asked me out, but I have sometimes used that line to back out of something that didn’t feel right.
In any case, I had my own doubts about starting something up, as the demands of my job continue to grow more and more unreasonable, and I feel like I have no choice but to leave it. Things were supposed to head in the opposite direction over the course of the year, but they most certainly have not. Every day at work makes me want to explode, and I feel uneasy about dating a new person while in this situation. I don’t want to overload them with tales of my job stress, and I feel like quitting a job will put undue strain on any burgeoning romance.
And yet, this recent experience reinforces my impression of the fragility of midlife dating. So little ever gets off the ground. Things show some potential and then so easily peter out.
I feel my own ambivalence, of course, but in a good number of situations I try to overcome it to give things a chance, only to have things die out on the other end.