More and more, I felt weighed down by all the judgments — some proffered, some unspoken — about single and childless women. From being too picky to be satisfied by a partner, to just too career-orientated and selfish, the judgments are endless. In my experience, they’re generally inaccurate, too.
I met plenty of women like me — women in their late 30s who’d done well professionally but not to the exclusion of all else; who had built great relationships with friends and family; but for whom the right romantic relationship, and children, remained elusive.
When I analysed the reasons why they and I were in this position, I came to one conclusion: bad luck, bad choices or bad timing. Not selfishness.
…I soon started to understand what had led me to where I was. Part of my sadness was a sense of loss that I would never love or be loved with the fierceness that exists between mother and child.
I wouldn’t experience all the challenges that motherhood brings, and the better person I think it makes some women — more patient, less self-centred, calmer.
But a significant part of how I felt was simply about being an outsider now that my friends’ and sisters’ lives had moved on to different places.