valves
by rantywoman
I’ll admit, this year I’ve suffered more psychological blows than most. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a bad dream.
I’m used to coping through laughing, analyzing, and complaining with girlfriends, but I don’t currently have those kinds of deep female friendships in my life. The blog helps, but there’s nothing quite like people who really know you.
Without that safety valve, I sometimes feel like I’m in a vise, and the pressure just gets tighter and tighter.
Have you ever tried meeting people through your blog? Since you seem to find a lot of connection and understanding here it could be a good source of new real life friends if you are open to it. When I blogged I did so anonymously but I did have an email address listed and ended up forming relationships with some people that way outside of just the comments on the blog. One continues to be an “in person” friend years later.
Interesting… I did have an interesting phone conversation with someone who interviewed me, but she lives in another state. I’m a bit hesitant about real-life meetings… I once had one with a woman I met through a website years ago and it was incredibly strained and awkward. She may have been some kind of con woman. Bad memory. Nice to know you had some success with it though.
In my case there was quite a bit of back and forth through email before meeting and we read one another’s blogs, so we’d gotten to know each other through those channels over time that way, so that helped. It definitely has the potential for awkwardness though since you don’t get a great sense of a person’s energy and manner till an in-person meeting.
Maybe I’ll go to a blogging conference someday to meet fellow bloggers…
If you want to find a man to marry quick and possibly start a family, snatch a man who is in the “mgtow” movement. These are largely men who love women but given up on them cause they don’t get much attention from women, but the drawback is that it’s not easy finding these men, they won’t be on any online dating sites.
What does “mgtow” stand for?
“mgtow”: ‘men going their own way’ basically boils down to men giving up on the dating scene because their burnt out and stop short of having conventional relationships with women i.e. long term romantic relationship or marriage. Some never married single men become lifelong bachelors because their not “alpha” enough to get attention from women. Other men usually post-divorce get screwed by the courts i.e finances and custody issues become “mgtow” because they do not want to get screwed again in another divorce. There is more to it, but In a nutshell, its some sort of burnt out and men don’t want to put the effort of doing all the song and dance, jumping through hoops to meet women anymore.
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2008/10/yes-men-do-leave-market.html
Thanks for the further explanation.
Thanks for the link. I read a lot of it. My feeling about this is that men are feeling this way because there just isn’t enough kindness and respect in dating. I think too many people are searching for what they can get from a partner rather than focusing on the friendship and love.
I don’t know. I find it hard to find any sympathy with those “poor, burned-out” guys. Obviously he seems not so much to look for love but a “guaranteed rate of return”. And even though he writes about the women coming to his dance class, obviously he thinks the right place for a man to find a “girl” (not a woman, it seems) is NOT the dance class but to go on the “prowl” in clubs, discos and bars. So he seems to say the typical male chooses either between the club and yelling at a stranger over the loud music or the X-Box.
Sorry, but i wouldn’t want him.
And i don’t think he really proves the point that the men are “burnt out” because of disappointements. What he says without realizing it himself is just that women’s and men’s ideas about how and where to meet potential partners differ greatly. I KNOW i will not find a boyfriend on pilates class but i will not go on the “prowl” in a loud club because that’s not what I enjoy, period. Which means that man on the “prowl” who might want me, will just not meet me; But i wouldn’t want him anyway. If he wants me, he can bloody well look for me in places i find interesting as well.
*sigh*
PS: or he could invite ME to have an intellectual discussion about politics with a scotch and a cigar. I love scotch, i smoke (not cigars though) and I’m an academic with political ideas and not stupid. But he doesn’t seem to think that that’s an activity you’d do with a woman. So there he goes.
I don’t like the loud bars and clubs either– I didn’t like them much in my youth, and I really can’t take them now.