As predicted, it was good to see my friend. Her husband was quite nice, and their baby was cute and sweet-natured.
Also as predicted, the visit was bittersweet. Discussing my current dilemmas turned out to be somewhat unavoidable. I was asked if I was still in touch with two or three former girlfriends, and in each case, the answer was no. I also had to confess that I was no longer in regular touch with anyone we attended high school with, all of whom have families now. I revealed that I hadn’t heard from my “non-boyfriend” since we ended things. I was asked about future plans and admitted I might be leaving my job and moving again next year because I was afraid of growing old and alone here. Although I tried to be matter of fact about it all, I thought to myself, “Good God, I am a real Debbie Downer.”
The thing is, my friend is happy. Of course, I know lots of people in difficult marriages, who are divorced, or who have problems with their children. My friend, though, however rocky and uncertain her path may have been in the past, now seems content and relatively trouble-free. She seems to be entering “the good years.” Her sisters also both had children late in life, so there were funny stories of them visiting each other with their young kids in tow.
I do seem to be on par with them financially, so there is that. Otherwise, the visit brought into stark relief just how unhappy I am and how difficult things have been these past few years. I fear being Negative Nellie, but on the other hand, I cannot be truthful without admitting some of these things.
My friend, along with a few others, are dying to know the name of my blog; as you can see, I have to keep it under wraps.