by rantywoman

These days I am missing my “gay boyfriend,” as he was the perfect travel partner.  I remember when he first suggested taking a trip together and I felt a bit resistant; of course I thought I should be traveling with a romantic partner by this age.  We turned out, however, to be perfect travel companions.

Although I had some adventurous experiences traveling alone in my twenties and thirties, currently I can’t seem to find the motivation to do so.  When I think of going on a trip without him, it seems pointless and a little unsafe.

One of the possibilities for my future is moving him into the place I own in my former city and living “Will and Grace” style.  It could benefit both of us, as he would have an inexpensive place to live, and I would have my basic bills covered, making it much more possible for me to work part-time.  I have been massaging the numbers and figuring out how I could piece it all together financially.

Again, I was initially resistant to this idea, as I felt that he should start building more of a social life with gay men his own age and possibly finding a boyfriend, and I should be building a network of friends my age and also finding a boyfriend.  In fact, one of my dreams was to find someone here and move back with him.

But keeping on my same path of working full-time to maintain a home for myself with the idea that this will attract a romantic partner is, again, living for someday while making today a bit grueling.  So I’m strongly considering it.