“You’re going to hate me for saying this,” says my good friend, a married mom of three, as we stand on the beach and look toward the ocean. “But you’re never going to find a man. They’re just not out there. No single woman I know can find a guy.” She takes a breath and adds: “So you should have a baby. Do whatever it takes and have a baby. You should at least become a mother.” I don’t hate her for saying it. She is saying what so many others are thinking.
…I’m sad too, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this. Just last week, a business colleague, a single woman in her mid-thirties, confessed that an article I wrote made her cry on the treadmill in the middle of her morning workout. “I saw myself in your writing,” she said. Later that night, an acquaintance stole me away at a party, where the ratio was at best 80/20 women to men: “I never thought it would end up this way,” the very pretty brunette told me. “I can’t believe I’m turning 40 next month and this is my life.”
“All the single women I know are fabulous,” a 50-something divorced mom and business colleague said over the phone. “I was in a meeting yesterday and looked around the room. Each woman was in your shoes. It’s a different time now than in my day. Maybe you have more financial freedom and social acceptance to wait for the right guy, but the right guys don’t seem to be coming along.”