indifference

by rantywoman

This post on the blog “Living My Life”

http://mylifeisbeinglived.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/more-on-finding-my-purpose.html

led me to another post on finding one’s purpose when one is childfree

http://www.childfreelifecoach.com/life-purpose-2/im-childfree-by-choice-but-what-is-my-life-purpose/.

One of the five keys that is mentioned, “release the need to be socially validated,” has been particularly difficult for me.  I would imagine it would be a stumbling block for a lot of women, as we are primed, as a gender, to seek validation from others.

The blogger expands her point:

Another vital step in finding and claiming your life purpose is letting go of the desire for validation and approval from others. It takes a lot of courage to make life decisions that are not validated by our society. When many of my friends began getting married and having babies, I observed that everywhere they went people were smiling and congratulating them. Their life choices were an occasion for celebration and gifts, while my own life choices to remain unmarried and childfree were cause for thinly veiled disapproval, pity and confusion.

No matter how independent and self aware you are, its comforting to think that those around you agree with and approve of your life choices. It can be disheartening to realize that from now on you will have to either let go of this luxury completely or find inventive ways of giving validation and approval to yourself.

I’ve always agreed with the sentiment that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.  These days,  I don’t hear much in the way of disapproval over my life choices; once I passed forty, I stopped hearing much of anything at all.  I live more in a vacuum of indifference than the state of active disapproval I sometimes felt in my thirties.

In turn, I’ve become indifferent to social approval.  That’s a muscle everyone should develop eventually; I feel like I’ve had a decade’s head start.