shelf life

by rantywoman

Do we lose our desire for romantic passion?  Certainly my desire has passed its peak but it hasn’t disappeared completely; the right person can reignite it.  I know women in their seventies and eighties who still pine and women in their forties who no longer give a toss.  I don’t think that desire is in the driver’s seat any longer in my life, but it’s still simmering.

Related article here, on Elizabeth Wurtzel, written by a man who impresses me as a bit bitter himself:

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/03/16/the-wistfulness-of-elizabeth-wurtzel/

Not getting this rather obvious fact:  for a woman (or a man, for that matter, but particularly for a woman, given the time frames involved) to base her life and identity and value and enjoyment and so on around her sex appeal and hot sex with numerous men and so on is to live a self-defeating life.  Wurtzel rightly realizes, perhaps finally, that beauty and sex appeal have a shelf life that, for women, is somewhat shorter than it is for men.  Yet she draws the completely wrong lesson from this.  The lesson is not that life is unfair (although it can seem so, to everyone at some stage, for different reasons), or that life has no more point after sex appeal fades!  It rather obviously means that sex appeal is but one part of a fully lived life, and surely not the central part, given that it is a rather fleeting thing.  The obviousness of this truth remains apparently  elusive even for the more introspective than average Wurtzel — something which makes me think it is a truth being rather deliberately avoided.