habits
by rantywoman
Years ago I learned that, out of loneliness and habit, I will easily end up in social situations in which I am banging my head against a wall. My remedy for that has been the “cold turkey” approach. For a period of time, I will simply stop calling a certain person or stop showing up at certain events. It’s always painful at first, but eventually I will feel relieved to have left the situation behind and will no longer miss it. By that point I can encounter the person or persons with a neutral emotional response.
These past few months I’ve been going through all that again. I decided to take a break from one scene and immerse myself in a completely new one, if for nothing else to be around new people with new passions and new perspectives. I felt lonely, bored, and disconnected for a while, but now I feel re-centered.
I re-encountered some of the old acquaintances this past weekend. One of them, a man who had flirted with me while involved with a woman he ended up marrying, went into effusive praise over his wife.
I felt nothing.
thebitterbabe 
That is very interesting. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts. I guess I do the same thing. There was a group I felt a bit envious that I wasn’t a part of but then I realized I don’t think I’ll get the friendship I need want from them. So what I decided is just focus on other avenues of meeting others. I guess that’s just like you. I think the more we have going on, the less sadness we will feel not feeling included in a certain group.
Exactly.
Small steps, small steps. Eventually it’ll get to the point where it will hardly be a blip on your radar.
I can relate to this, continuing to socialize out of loneliness and habit when there is very little connection and support. The initial withdrawal is scary,and it takes effort, persistence and faith to search for more fulfilling relationships.
It is scary but hopefully it clears the way for something better. At the moment, though, I admit that I’m a bit weary of searching for close friendships and relationships. I find myself going out with casual acquaintances these days but not expecting a whole lot out of them.