secret fear
by rantywoman
The plankton has written beautifully on the secret fear I can’t help but feel, at least occasionally these days– that there is something terribly and unusually unattractive about me, and nobody has the heart to tell me:
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thebitterbabe 
I think everyone feels like this sometimes. I have known two models (one was on 90210) – and both were very ! insecure..even more than normal. As what they did (act/model) depended on their looks – they were scrutinised down to the tiniest detail. I think the way you feel is pretty normal.
I am quite sure you are gorgeous 🙂
I think – maybe – the key is in some of the comments to that thread which I read.
Btw – just a thought….but do you have rowing teams where you live? Lots of guys – esp if you are the crew person (forget what it’s called…the one that heads the boat?)
Im just thinking – like the comments in that thread…go to where the guys are – if you can.
Or sailing teams (the amateur ones – where you learn to sail) etc
I used to do aid work and I was in one org that was almost all guys. I was already with someone, but almost all the other women ending up in relationships – and at least one couple met there and were later were married.
And if you are into theatre and dance (and obviously loads more – but that’s just what I’ve got from the blog) it’s not always the best idea to be with guys that are 100% into the same stuff. Opposites attract and all that. Plus, if you’re with someone that does vastly different things (assuming the core stuff – ideals etc are all good) that means your life is widened and enriched. And you never know, the things you never tried may turn out to be things you love.
Anyway – obviously you’ve tried loads of stuff..so this is just a thought.
Sailing may be an easier possibility than rowing. Something for me to look into, although it does sound time consuming. At one point I looked into scuba diving– I love the ocean– but between all the class requirements and the all-day trips I decided I just couldn’t handle something that time-consuming.
The coxswain, the one that yells “stroke, stroke!”.
ahh, thanks! 🙂
I don’t detect anything wrong with you Rantywoman…but I remember hearing of a matchmaker that people went to coach them on their dating. They were having little luck finding love and went to her to figure out what the problem was (if any). This woman was really talented and was able to get to the heart of the matter which enabled them to have more and more dates that led to a relationship. Sometimes it’s nothing but circumstances but sometimes it is something, something we aren’t aware of. Often it was just a little thing they did or said during the first date. Sometimes it was just an attitude that needed to be adjusted.
With her coaching they were able to go beyond the first, second and then third dates and then were on their way.
Just thought it was interesting.
I’ve only started reading your blog a few weeks or so ago and don’t really know you too well, but I feel you’re being hard on yourself. I’m sure you’re not “undateable.” When you’re in a situation where you feel like you keep getting dealt a bad hand, it’s easy for you to be down on yourself. Maybe you should consider doing something that doesn’t involve dating or finding romance—something where you’re in a situation where you’re not thinking about that stuff, like volunteering. I’m sure you’re a lot more worthy than you think you are.