song break
by rantywoman
I recently saw a show in which a comedic female musical duo (Garfunkel and Oates) performed a number like this: one of them played a woman at 29 and the other one the same woman at 31 (unfortunately I can’t provide a link to the performance). At 29, the woman sang of finally coming into her own and being able to meet men on equal terms. She felt she was no longer worried about meeting someone, that she had plenty of time, and that everything would work out in the end. She was finally enjoying dating for its own sake. At 31, essentially, she had one refrain– there’s no one left! And the men want to date younger, and she never gets invited to dinner parties anymore. She had blown it and her younger self was both dumb and smug.
Well, that cut close, despite the humor. I do feel like I was at a real peak in my early thirties (on every level) and that I was a much better relationship candidate than in my twenties, but yes, I did feel frustrated that by then it felt as if there was no one left.
Though a link to the performance would have been lovely, I still laughed out loud at your description. That is a case of it is funny because it is true, and one has to laugh because otherwise one could only cry.
Mind you there are still a few women on the wrong side of forty who fit the category of “no longer worried about meeting someone,” believing they still have “plenty of time, and that everything will work out in the end”. Obviously the world they live in is much nicer than mine. They have a talent for creating an alternate reality that I lack. While they are delusional they are happier than I am, so they are the real winners.
Everyone, please remember that of all marriages in any given year, 10% are to women over 40. Just a suggestion….maybe look at all the couples out there who have met someone after 40. Okay….continue to vent away. : )
It is a bit like saying look at all the lottery winners out there, but compared to how many play that is not all that many. Yes there are couples who met after forty but how do they compare to the number who are not meeting someone? I would really love to have reliable figures. Although if it turns out that the majority of women who are single at forty stay single till they die, that would be depressing news indeed. If someone can find me figures that say otherwise I’ll be thrilled.
I live in a street where there are six other single women over forty, and in the last eight years or so that I have lived here only one has found a partner. I’d rather the figures were the other way around so that only one had not found a partner.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100825223328AAkWp5S
Google “women, marriage, over 40” and lots of information will come up. This was one of them.
Apparently the odds are better than even I thought.
Oh thank you, sadly it would seem the majority will be single till they die, but the 40 percent chance of marrying I found is a hell of a lot better than the 2.6 percent that it used to be. I can foresee myself in the future muttering the mantra “please let me be in the 40 percent, please let me be in the 40 percent”. Of course some sites indicate it is more like a 20 percent chance, which is quite a lot worse than 40 percent, and makes me doubt the accuracy of any figures if that much variation can be had. Maybe I had better take up the chant of “please let me be in the 20 percent, please let me be in the 20 percent”.
I am not trying to be a cheerleader here…just getting some knowledge of the situation is good.
I do believe, and this is just me and I respect everyone’s wishes here, I think it’s always good to have hope. Always. We are spirit at our core and if we desire love and romance…there is no reason we should not have it.
A good book on the subject is, and I know some of you will cringe, is Malloy’s book on why some women marry and others don’t (sorry don’t have the exact title but it can be looked up). It’s not anti female at all but very helpful and informative to increase your chances (and no, I dont’ think it means not being true to yourself). The reason it is geared toward women is women are the readers of self help while men are not! So all the advice is geared toward us, fair or not.
I agree with you totally on the benefits of gathering knowledge, Yoga Gurl.
I am beginning to suspect that the ‘how to get married’ books are the biggest sector in the self improvement industry once you exclude diet books. The advice out there on offer is overwhelming, but it goes to show that the subject is one that is of interest to a significant part of the population.
You are also right that hope is vital in life.