I’m realizing with this latest experiment that I’m half past done with online dating.
I did a ton of online dating in my thirties, including quite a bit when I first moved here. I’m feeling the need to try new things and meet new people again, but at the same time I’m feeling sorry for myself that I’m right back where I started.
It was difficult for me to psyche myself up last night, as frankly I wanted to stay home curled up with a book after a long week at work. I have, perhaps, grown to enjoy my own company a little too much. I also feel like I’ve become quite perceptive about people and situations, and I can guess before I’ve even gone on a date why something might not work.
In this case, the man in question has just moved to town. He is staying with relatives and looking for a job and in general is as disoriented and freaked out as I myself was when I moved here. I feel like he needs to settle into a life here before dating seriously, and he said as much on the date. It occurred to me that my dates probably thought the same of me when I first arrived here. Timing counts for a lot.
At least he was cute and socially adept, if not really my type. I do my best to get something out of the situation– to learn something new about other people and their jobs and the places they have lived– and I did that.
I’m going on one more date from online tomorrow (probably my last from this go-round, and I have big reservations about him). The man I wrote who it turned out I had already been on a date with wants to meet up as well, but I don’t expect my feelings will have changed.
I’ve gotten to a point where the online thing doesn’t work for me, and I can’t seem to overcome my lack of enthusiasm for meeting up with virtual strangers and making small talk. I’m not sure when the turn happened, but I would peg it at 40.
In other news, I’m pushing myself to try a new social group today, so there will be more venturing out of the comfort zone.