like with like

by rantywoman

A few of my friends who managed to get married in their late thirties/ early forties appear to not have compromised all that much.  Their husbands seem compatible with them– they are close in age and seem well-suited physically and intellectually.  I haven’t seen a lot of examples of, say, a fit person with an obese person, or a young person with a much older person, although I know of some.

I, however, have had no such luck in finding a compatible mate.  The few times I met someone age-appropriate with whom I seemed well-suited and with whom dating seemed easy, it did not work out.  This despite the fact that I was willing to do whatever it took.

A guy I knew once told me I should marry an older wealthy man with the idea that I would inherit his money while still young and at that point could take a lover.  I was a little taken aback at his suggestion, as I wanted a peer marriage.

It’s hard these days though not to consider being mercenary.  I again looked at the Facebook pages of people in the mid-sized city I may return to in a year or so, and again I was struck with the fear that if I return I will be one of the very few people who is still single and childless, with poor job prospects to boot.  I’m afraid I’m stuck between staying here, in a stressful job, or returning to a place I will no longer fit in.  I won’t deny it’s scary.