It never would’ve occurred to me when I was young that I could state what I wanted in a romance in detail, and that the guy could say yes and then be specific about what he wanted… Age had its advantages. I was too old not to be demanding. I could hardly be someone in my work life who negotiated, who was frank, who insisted on clarity from the other party, and then be someone evasive with Locke. Or pretend I didn’t know what I needed with him. The other side of that coin was that I no longer trusted everything to unfold dreamlike and perfect without my urging. That was lost. But so much else was gained.
– Maud Lavin, The Oldest We’ve Ever Been: Seven True Stories of Midlife Transitions, p. 202