progress

by rantywoman

Hollywood– where anything can happen, and nothing ever does.– Anonymous

A very nice married gentleman I met at a party several weeks ago has resolved to set me up, and to that end, declared he had found a promising candidate last week. I passed on my contact info before realizing, a day or two later, that I will likely never hear from this fellow, if past experience is any guide. At least in this case, I don’t have to take it personally, as he hasn’t seen a picture of me and has nothing more to go on than an enthusiastic endorsement from his friend. That and perhaps my age.

My experience in this city can be encapsulated with the idea that nothing ever progresses. I had a talk with a friend last week about the “friends with benefits” concept, and we both agreed that those situations usually only last a short amount of time, as it seems everything in life either progresses or dies.

I’ve realized too that the same idea applies to my extracurricular activities. I have certainly stuck with some activities that for years went nowhere on an interpersonal level (and continue to do so), but for the most part, if I find a place or activity I like, I will go three or four times, and if no glimmer of a promising connection has developed in that span of time, lose interest.

In the same fashion, my job has changed, and in some ways for the better, but the essential frustrations remain, and in some ways have gotten worse. I approach each week with the idea that things will go smoothly, but at this point, I have to admit I’m in an abusive relationship, despite the occasional bouquet of flowers.

Is this modern life now? A series of disconnected events? I am embracing the novelty while I’m in this place and am having a good deal of fun, but it seems that there is a natural human desire for things to eventually deepen.

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